Satire: White House Plans for Pakistan!
By Kamal El-Din
Uncofirmed Sources, July 22, 2007
Unconfirmed sources report that the White House decided to withdraw support for Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf. White House officials have released plans to bomb targets inside Pakistan's tribal regions without the approval of Musharraf. The attacks are calculated to enflame Islamic extremists and regular Pakistanis and encourage them to turn against Musharraf and his military backed government.
"The plan is simple." Says White House spokesman Ben Lion. "If we bomb Pakistan the Pakistani people will rise up against Musharraf who is seen as a puppet of the US and his government will fall. Which is ok with us as he hasn't been doing much to help the War on Terror anyway. The status quo over there just isn't working for us, so President Bush has decided to stir things up a bit and see what happens."
"It's very good idea." Says Washington insider David Brooks. "Pakistan has been in the 'with us' column for a few years, but hasn't pulled it's weight. It's time for a change. If we do this Pakistan will most likely fall into the 'against us' group of nations as Islamic militants try to pull off a coup. Now that may sound like a bad thing, but it would certainly clear up some confusion as to who's side they are on. I can't blame the President for wanting clarity on this."
The President has apparently assigned the task of undermining President Pervez Musharraf and the Pakistani government to Dick Cheney. The vice President is said to be very excited at the prospect of bombing yet another Islamic country.